Dating tips
February 26, 2025
How to Write the First Message?


Writing the first message is a crucial step in starting an acquaintance, which can lead to new and exciting relationships. The way you express your thoughts will determine whether you get a response. Remember: sincerity, attentiveness, and a personalized approach are key to successful communication. The best tips to help you stand out among other users of the Detto platform and find happiness are right here.
Why Is the First Message So Important?
It’s your chance to make a good first impression. This is where a dialogue begins, which could grow into something bigger. How do you approach this to stand out among hundreds of other users? It’s a way to showcase your individuality and curiosity in the other person. If you're wondering what first message to write to a girl, avoid clichés, as they can create a sense of indifference. Remember that on Detto, sincerity and originality are valued. Start with an engaging question or a comment about the profile to leave a positive impression.
The Impact of First Impressions on Communication Development
The initial emotions someone feels when communicating with you will always influence the development of the relationship. If you're considering how to write the first message, it’s essential to make it as engaging and personalized as possible.
What to Do at the Start of Communication:
- Pay attention to the profile. Use information from the other person’s profile to start the conversation. This shows attentiveness.
- Avoid template phrases. Instead of a plain "Hi, how are you?" try something original.
- Be concise. Overly long texts may overwhelm the recipient.
- Use humor. A playful tone can ease tension.
- Ask questions. This encourages dialogue.
- Be polite. A friendly tone sets a positive mood.
By following these tips, you’ll create a good first impression, forming the basis for further communication.
How to Stand Out Among Other Users?
To stand out on the Detto platform, a personalized approach is crucial. When thinking about what first message to write to a girl, focus on her interests. Mention what drew your attention to her profile. This will show your genuine interest and make you stand out. Add originality: share an interesting fact about yourself or ask something unconventional. On Detto, people seek genuine connections, so sincerity and openness are your best allies.
Key Principles of a Successful First Message
A successful message is the key to pleasant communication. If you want to know how to write the first message to a girl when meeting, remember the importance of personalization, simplicity, and sincerity. Show genuine interest in the person, and try not to overcomplicate the text. Speak from the heart, and this will undoubtedly attract attention.
A Personalized Approach: Avoid Templates
Generic words and phrases can spoil the impression. If you’re wondering what to write in the first message to a girl, think about a unique approach. Replace cliché phrases with original ones that highlight your attention to detail. Instead of the standard "Hi! Let’s get to know each other?" write, "Hi! I noticed you’re interested in traveling. Which country left the brightest impression on you?" This creates the feeling that you are genuinely interested in this person rather than sending identical texts to everyone.
Questions That Spark Interest: What to Ask?
To start a dialogue, use questions that spark interest. For example: "What place do you dream of visiting?" "What would you do if you could have any superpower?" "What book or movie has inspired you recently?" These questions help ensure an easy and pleasant dialogue while demonstrating your interest.
Highlight Shared Interests and Hobbies
If you share common attractiveness, be sure to mention them in your message. For example: "Hi! I see you also love mountains. I was in the Carpathians last summer. Where did you like the most?" This helps establish a connection and sets a positive tone for the conversation. Discussing shared interests creates a friendly and relaxed atmosphere that promotes dialogue development. It’s essential not only to mention common hobbies but also to suggest something intriguing, like exchanging experiences or recommending new places or books. This approach shows your sincerity and openness while arousing interest.

What to Avoid in the First Message?
The first message is important, but sometimes knowing what to avoid is even more crucial. Certain phrases can scare off someone or make them end communication with you, so be cautious at the beginning.
Avoid:
- Cliché phrases. For example, "Hi, how are you?" seems unoriginal.
- Overly personal questions. Avoid topics that may be uncomfortable.
- Grammar mistakes. Errors in the text can be off-putting.
- Excessive persistence. Give the person time to respond.
- Template sentences. They come across as insincere.
- Comments on appearance. This may seem superficial.
By avoiding these mistakes, you can create a positive impression of yourself and increase your chances of further dialogue.
Mistakes That May Deter the Other Person
The biggest mistakes are poor grammar, rudeness, or banality. If you’re wondering what to write to a man in the first message on a dating site, be polite and considerate. Avoid template phrases and instead ask about his hobbies or interests. Another mistake is providing too much information about yourself. Avoid overwhelming the introduction with details about your life, as this can come across as intrusive.
Avoid a negative tone or criticism, it can ruin even a potentially good start. Avoid provocative or personal questions that may cause discomfort. Questions about financial status or previous relationships should be saved for a later stage. Show genuine interest in the other person to engage them and build an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
Why Are Grammar and Politeness Important?
Grammar and politeness are fundamental elements of successful communication. They demonstrate your respect for the other person and the seriousness of your intentions. Neglecting these aspects may leave a negative impression or even alienate the recipient. The first message is your business card, so its quality should be top-notch. Polite wording and error-free grammar will help generate a positive tone for the conversation.
Examples of First Messages for Acquaintance
"Hi! I noticed you’re interested in photography. What’s your favorite subject to shoot?" or "Hi! I see you love movies. Which one impressed you the most recently?" These examples show your interest in the other person. To make communication even more effective, add something personal about yourself. If you also enjoy photography, share a brief story about your favorite shoot. Or, if you’re a movie fan, talk about the last movie that made a significant impression on you. This will help the other person feel your sincerity and excitement in the dialogue.
Ideas for Connecting Through Shared Interests
To ensure a successful start to a dialogue, pay attention to shared interests. If the other person mentions a love for travel in their profile, you can start by asking about their favorite places or their dreams for future trips. Another option is discussing hobbies like music, sports, or cooking. For example, you might share how one of your trips left unforgettable impressions or talk about a favorite dish you learned to cook. This creates a comfortable atmosphere and allows both sides to find common topics for discussion. Remember that sincerity and attention to detail play a significant role in establishing an emotional connection.
Examples of Questions to Start a Dialogue
There are several questions to start a dialogue without intimidating the other person. Let’s look at a few: "If you could travel in time, where would you go?" or "What place on Earth do you want to see the most?" Such questions open up numerous topics for further discussion. Another interesting option is thought-provoking questions, such as: "What do you think is the most important quality in a person?" or "If you had one day to fulfill any dream, what would it be?" These questions not only encourage deeper dialogue but also help you understand the other person better.

Tips for Successfully Continuing Communication
To keep the conversation going, be attentive to the answers. Ask for details, share your own experiences, and propose new topics for discussion. This will make the dialogue natural and engaging. It’s also essential to show genuine interest in what the other individual tells about themselves. Avoid hasty conclusions and interruptions — this helps generate a trusting atmosphere. Always respond politely and thoughtfully, emphasizing your interest in long-term communication.
How to Maintain the Other Person’s Interest?
Maintaining someone’s interest involves attentiveness and active listening. Ask about their interests, share your stories, and maintain a friendly tone. It’s also essential to use open-ended questions that encourage deeper dialogue. For instance: "What inspires you the most?" or "How do you usually spend your weekends?" The conversation might flow naturally, and you can avoid awkward pauses.
When and How to Transition to the Next Step?
If communication is going well, suggest continuing it in real life or via video chat. Choose a moment when it feels appropriate and comfortable for both parties. Don’t rush; allow time for them to get used to you. Before suggesting a meeting, ensure both of you feel at ease in the interaction. You might say: "I really enjoy talking to you. How about continuing our conversation over coffee?" If the person isn’t ready to meet, don’t push. Instead, continue your online discussions, showing your openness and respect for their decision.
Conclusion
The first messages are an essential step in dating. Follow these tips, avoid mistakes, and focus on personalization. On Detto, everyone can find their love story. Remember, success depends on your willingness to be sincere and open. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative, as the first step often determines the direction of the relationship. Use all the features of the Detto platform to find a kindred spirit and build strong connections.